I'm Dead

So, I’m dead. It is a really strange feeling. I had no idea it would be like this. One minute I was driving on the highway, I felt a heavy thump and then blackness. Next thing I knew I was standing on the side of the road watching as the paramedics worked on my body. Then they covered me from head to toe with a sheet and loaded me into an ambulance.

It was really weird. I felt like I was floating along with ambulance to the hospital. I don’t remember going in the emergency room. All of a sudden I was just there, hovering over my dead body. Much like I am doing right now.

My funeral is just about to start. I can’t believe this. Many more people showed up than I ever expected. All the people from work, several of my college friends and people I haven’t seen or heard from in years. They’re all here to say good-bye to me. How sweet.

So, like I said, I died three days ago. It has been a fascinating experience. Let me catch you up on what I have been up to. I have been whipping around what used to be my world. You see, it’s like my body is the central hub. It’s not like I fly from place to place, it’s more like I just appear somewhere. After I visit for a while, I reappear at my body.

First, I was back at my house in Connecticut. Hovering in the kitchen, I saw myself as a five-year-old child. I was playing with my favorite toy and watching my mother cooking dinner. My father was seated at the dinner table. I watched myself get up and walk over to him. I climbed into his lap and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I saw the familiar smile and then I was back at my body.

The next stop was my college dorm room. I hovered over my eighteen-year-old form. Did I ever look that young? I guess even the dead can be stunned. I was busying myself with some type of class project and my roommate walked in the door. Looking forlorn and crying, I immediately jumped up and gave my roomie a hug. We embraced for several minutes and then we broke. Looking into each other’s eyes I could see the pain beginning to fade. Then I was back at my body.

Suddenly, I felt a deeply warm sensation coming over me. I was with my first lover. We had just lost our virginity together and we fell asleep in each other’s arms. It was the best I have ever felt in my death. The amazing feeling of loving and being loved. Then I was back at my body.

I spent time with each of my children. In some way I knew that they would all remember being with me here in this place. They would carrying memories of me in their heads for the rest of their lives. They would turn to me in times of trouble and in times of happiness. I have know idea how I know this is true, but something just told me it was.

I made trip after trip to see myself comforting friend after friend. As I looked around the room I noticed that every one I visited made it to the funeral. Wow, that really hit home. How could this connection exist between people? I had touched each person’s life and now they came to show their respects. Was I really visiting these people or was my spirit free to roam in their heads and share the memory?

Suddenly I realized the one person I wanted to see wasn’t there. The true love of my life was nowhere to be seen. The only person I needed to see. Oh my God, the pain – An intense pain is shot through my body. How could this be happening? Where was the pain coming from? My love, there you are. Seated in the back of the church all alone was my lover. The pain was coming from you.

I must go there, to be with you. I am with you my love. I am here. You know I am. You can feel me. Look at me. See me. You know how I feel and how I always felt

I moved over to my lover and reached out with my hand and stroked the shoulder closest to me. My lover did not move, but almost burst into tears. One tear from the left eye slowly rolled down the cheek. I reached out and wiped the tear from his eye. This time he felt me. He turned his head and looked me in the eye.

“Karli?” He said, “Is that you?”

“Of course it is, my love.” I said to him.

He was truly stunned. He blinked at me several times. Then finally he said.

“But Karli, you are dead.”

“Yes, I am.” I replied.

I myself was somewhat shocked. How could he see me? No one else could, be he looked right at me and saw me. Then it all made sense.

“You always could see my soul.” I said. “And you were the only one that really could.”

“Ah, you do look more beautiful than ever.” He replied. “I always knew that your soul was the most beautiful thing about you.”

“But why are you sitting here in the back all alone?” I asked.

He paused for a moment and then he said,

“I wanted to be alone with you one last time and somehow I knew if I sat here you would come to me.”

We sat with each other in comfortable silence as we did when I was alive. We had said everything we needed to say to each other a long time ago. He reached up and gently stroked my hair in the familiar way.

“It will be okay.” I said.

“I know that now.” He said. “Will I see you again?”

I had to ponder this for a while. I still did not really know what happens when you are dead.

“I don’t know.” I answered truthfully.

“Can you stay a while?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” I answered.

We went back to sitting in silence. He looked at me like he always did and my heart warmed. This was good. This was the way it had always felt. For once in my death, I was certain that I truly had a soul mate. I felt at peace, totally at peace. I looked into his eyes and saw the same look of peace.

“You were the best thing that ever happened to me.” He said finally. “And I am going to miss you with every fiber of my being.”

“Me, too my love.” I replied. “I think I do know is that the kids will always be there for you. When you miss me, just look in their eyes and I’ll be there.”

“I know.” He said as more tears welled up in his eyes. “That’s what will get me through this.”

Again we fell into our comfortable silence. We sat for the rest of the service holding hands as we used to.

Abruptly, I was back in my body. That’s strange. I’m back in my body instead of hovering above it. I can hear the hinges on the coffin closing. Darkness is overtaking me. I can hear the latches …